My name is Marie Hallberg, and I will be a junior at Michigan State University in the fall. I am actually from Plainfield, IL which is about an hour south of Chicago, so needless to say, Florida has been quite an adjustment for me this summer!
I feel like I haven’t had much time in the past couple of weeks to sit down and write a somewhat detailed blog. So here’s my attempt at that. It’s a little late, but today was my day off, so I’m not completely exhausted. I guess I need to seize this opportunity! Lately, that has been my life. Seizing opportunities. And remembering why I have them.
I mean this in a few different ways. One is in a physical sense. Last Thursday, on my day off, I got to join some friends and head to Animal Kingdom for the second half of the day. I do enjoy this park, although it always makes me feel like I’m just going to a zoo, not a theme park. Either way, this was the second time I had been with a big group that included my friend Whitley. The first time I chickened out of going on the ride Expedition Everest. This is why:
Um, if you don’t know me, I don’t do rollercoasters. Especially ones with big drops. They freak me out. I am fully aware that I am being a baby, wimp, etc., you don’t have to tell me. But I hate big drops. They freak me out, I start to have a mini panic attack and can’t breathe for about 5 seconds while I’m going down the hill. But enough about my cowardly ways.
Whitley was not going to let me leave the park before “climbing” Everest. Literally. I finally resigned myself to the fate that I would have to ride it. She explained every detail of the ride and the whole route to me. I texted one of my best friends from back home who told me to “go be a warrior!” (thanks Trina!) and finally decided to be a big girl and get over it.
And I did it!
Whitley sat next to me the whole ride, telling me what was coming up next, what I should look for, and how long it was going to last. It was shorter than I thought it would be. And the drop was over in about 3 seconds. All in all, I won’t be running to go on it again, but it felt to good to say that I did it.
One of the best opportunities of this trip is the chance to meet all these new people. And not just the other 58 other students on this project, but also the coworkers I would (hopefully) get to meet and hang out with. It has been wonderful to meet all these people. Truly wonderful.
I feel as if I have known these people for years, not just weeks. I feel like my roommates and I have gotten fairly close, and like we’ve been living together for a while now! My carpool group has been such a blessing to me and between my discipleship group, bible study, and ministry team, I feel like I have at least gotten to interact with eveyone on project. Which is quite a feat, with the size we’re at!
At the same time, this has been somewhat emotionally draining. When I leave school, I leave with the knowledge that when I come back in the fall, the majority of them will be there as well, and we can pick up right where we left off. Granted, I only have 2 years left and soon I won’t be going back, but we’ll talk about that later (like in 2 years). But I have been reminded several times in the past week that I only get the privilege of knowing, learning about, growing with, and living with these people for 10 weeks. And there are only 3 and a half weeks left. I don’t exactly know how to leave all these friendships here. I might never see some of these people again in my life. How can I just go back to IL and then go back to school and act like my life was not changed by these people this summer? It’s just not possible.
I also have the opportunity to go out and share my faith during our evangelism times and/or at work. This has been something I’ve had to grow in lately and I’ve been pushed out of my comfort zone quite often. We usually head to the outlet malls on Tuesday mornings around 10:30 a.m. to do some initiative evangelsim for an hour. We have a few different surveys and questions as tools to lead into conversations. My carpool group has had earlier shifts on Tuesdays (meaning we have to leave for work around 12 or 12:30 p.m.) so we haven’t really had as much time as some of the other groups. Lately thouhg, I have let this become my excuse to not focus on this time. I figure it’s “pointless” or “not enough time.” I find myself not even wanting to get into a conversation because I just don’t know what I would say to them. My mind is so focused on other things.
Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I got sick Monday night/Tuesday morning. My nose has been stuffy the past few days and I’ve had some sinus pressure to go along with it. This is just one more way I am being distracted from the opportunity of sharing the love of Christ with people. And it just hits me: How selfish am I?
How selfish am I that I would deny someone else the opportunity to learn about how much God loves them? How He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to die on a cross because He could not stand the thought of being separated from that person? How I have a joy that will never end and a hope that is unending because Jesus is the Savior and Lord of my life?
Satan attacks us in a lot of ways. Being in an environment like this, I believe we are all under attack even more. He knows how much power we have in the Spirit. He knows how much of an impact we could make for God’s kingdom if we lived to our full potential this summer. Therefore, he attacks us emotionally, spiritually, and even physically (half of our project has probably been sick at some point during the summer) to break us down.
In moments like these, I have to remember why. Why I am here. Why I decided to raise $2500, get on a plane, pass up a more comfortable and familiar atmosphere and job back home, and spend a summer in hot, humid Florida. Why I interviewed, trained, and prepared for a job that consists of filling drinks, stocking tomatoes, and changing ketchup volpacks (a process during which some ketchup usually ends up transferring to my shirt). Why I decided to co-lead a ministry team that is heavily involved with planning events on project and anxiously hoping people would like what we come up with for that day.
In women’s time for the first half of the summer our theme was F.I.G.H.T. Each of these letters represents a certain quality we should focus on in our relationship with Christ. One of our leaders made a good point while talking about the first quality-freedom. We don’t have to fight for freedom or any of these other qualities. They are already guaranteed through God’s promises to us. But we have to fight to remember.
Remember why I am here. Remember why God called me on this trip. Remember why…
The physical, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion has been taking a toll on me lately and most of my project friends. We’re in such an intense environment, it’s hard to consistently take time out of our days to recognize why we’re here and to look at our circumstances with an eternal perspective. In other words, recognize how God is using us in this place and time to glorify His kingdom. I would really appreciate prayer with that, this is a hard thing to do!
I am also praying for all of you! That you may remember why you are you. Remember why you are where you are. And to remember why your life never has to be the same.
Because God. loves. you.
That’s why.
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